last night i emailed my mom with my pro/con list for nau and mcc. i didn't say anything else, just sent her the list. even though my pros and cons were equal in quantity, i felt like the pros for nau were bigger and meant more to me than the pros for mcc. and the cons for mcc were more substantial than the cons for nau. so i thought my mom would say, "it sounds like you're having second thoughts, and it sounds like nau is probably a better choice for you." but she actually said, "it sounds like you're having second thoughts, so how about I make the decision for you, sam. i have to admit that i was relieved when you said you wanted to go to mcc. I really don't have the money to send you to nau right now cuz my business is going slower than I wanted. i really need you to work and take cheaper classes while you are trying to decide what to do for a career."



i want to cry, but tears won't come. i've been so sad lately about leaving nau. especially since i feel like my reasons for leaving aren't really good ones. besides the fact that i have no money. maybe now instead of sitting here doing nothing instead of homework i'll apply for scholarships...

just maybe.