i posted this on twitter. because i've been having a hard time dealing with the whole going to mcc thing. spencer is one of my followers, and he goes to nau with me. he's one of my good friends, and he started talking to me on facebook chat about

Spencer
Hey
11:44pmSam
hello
what random food item would you like me to bring to you now?!
11:44pmSpencer
I saw your twitter are you having second thoughts about mocing home?
haha
the world
11:44pmSam
hahaha
11:44pmSpencer
on a plate
lol
11:45pmSam
but yeah...
i am
11:45pmSpencer
well I thought I'd give you a thought before I went to meditate then sleep
and that is that the the whole point of college is to discover yourself and what you want. Part of it is going to suck because you haven't discovered what you want yet
and in the face of that, the only real option is to keep searching. You should really think not about the decision of whether to go home or stay, but about what you don't like about up here. Really honestly look at what it is you dislike
and ask yourself if those things are things that suck because they suck ie freshmen requirements, or if they are things that suck because you haven't figured out yourself yet and what you really want
I think this place is all about figuring out what you don't like and finding ways to focus on the things you do
and if you bail when you find the things you don't like, and don't stay long enough to find the things you do, then your only letting yourself experience half the jounrey
journey
and you're preventing yourself from real growth.
11:49pmSam
thanks
i know i have a LOT to think about... this kind of helps though
11:50pmSpencer
I hope so. I need to go clear my mind and focus. So I hope that whatever you decide, you don't let yourself shortchange yourself. Really make sure that whatever you do is truely the best for you
and that's not always the same as the easiest.
okay
going now
11:50pmSam
thanks spencer
11:51pmSpencer
sleep well
11:51pmSam
you too!
11:55pmSpencer is offline.

i think this is what i've been struggling with. i made my decision to go to mcc this fall too soon. i'm going to make a pro con list for nau and mcc. i've been meaning to do it for a while. but i'm actually going to do it. now.

NAU
pros
1 marching band (i love nau's marching band)
2 kkpsi (i can rush again)
3 seeing all my friends from up here
4 small town
5 small classes
6 i'll actually be starting classes for my major
7 and my minor
8 the weather
9 live with maggie
10 will actually have a four year degree
11 scholarship

cons
1 no motivation to go to class
2 no family
3 driving in snow sucks
4 no winter drumlines up here to be on
5 no winter drumline up here to teach for
6 less jobs to make money
7 cost a lot of money

MCC
pros
1 can live at home
2 family
3 already signed up for classes
4 have people to carpool with :)
5 finish college sooner
6 winter drumline closer to be on
7 winter drumlines closer to work for
8 more jobs available
9 less money
10 boyfriend
11 friends

cons
1 hot weather in the summer
2 big city
3 asu marching band or no marching band
4 living at home
5 no nau friends
6 no kkpsi
7 lose scholarship for nau if i decide to go back

so... they have exactly the same amount. AWESOME.

i'm talking to my boyfriend, who goes to asu, right now. i read him all of my pros and cons. he said he has a feeling that i'm leaning more towards nau.

i think i am.