Saturday, April 23, 2011


i've been thinking in the past couple days that i might go back to school. like, over the summer. and then fall. and so on. haha. i've really enjoyed taking the semester off. no school, no homework. but to be honest, i've been slightly bored. i don't want to go back to full time just yet, but i think taking a class or two would be good. every time i talked to my friends and they said something about school, it made me feel dumb for not being in school anymore. and if i take more time off, it might turn into forever off, and i don't want to work in fast food my whole life...

a couple days ago i saw this picture on tumblr.

i've seen it before, and both times i just stared and stared at it. the second time though, i remembered how in elementary and junior high school i wanted to be an architect. i've been trying to figure out what i want to do with my life lately, and this seems like the first real and possible thing that i have thought of that i've wanted to do for a while. it just seems more... realistic than some of the things i've been thinking in the past couple months. the word realistic sounds kind of depressing to me, but it's really not in this situation! haha.

so this summer i think i'm going to start catching up on math. then take all of the classes i can take at cgcc. asu has a program, so i think eventually i will apply there. i don't and will never regret going to nau, but i bet i would have gotten a better scholarship had i applied to asu in the first place... now i have some bad grades on my transcripts, so i doubt i would get a scholarship :/ but, i'd probably be able to afford student loans if go into architecture... right? haha

i think this is happening.

Friday, April 15, 2011

things i have learned from my mother.

1. don't settle for any man who isn't your soul mate.
2. don't run away from your problem. they'll catch up to you eventually.
3. don't push away the people you love, even if they have hurt you.
4. forgive people who have hurt you, even if they are not still in your life. don't do it for them, do it for yourself.
5. realize what your dreams are and go for them now.
6. accept everyone for who they are, if you don't like them, you don't have to be friends with them, but you shouldn't try to change them.
7. don't tell people not to cry when they are upset. tell them it's okay to cry and let everything they are feeling out.
8. don't let anything bottle up inside for too long.
9. stay positive.
10. enthusiasm can change any situation.
11. think of all of your options.
12. be patient.
13. there are more important things than money.
14. how to be healthy.
15. support the people you love, no matter what they want to do.

there are so many more things that i have learned from her. unfortunately for my mom, most of these lessons have come from me seeing her do the complete opposite and me telling myself i will never do that. i've been so happy lately and i know it's because she's helped me to be that way. it hurts me to know that she's hurting so much, and i really hope she makes it through this. i know deep inside that she will, but i don't think she believes that.