Sunday, December 19, 2010


yesterday i had my first day with mosaic independent percussion. it was a good day, despite a few things that i found either unfair or just awkward. i feel really old compared to my section, mostly from experience, not age. i've been playing for a lot longer than any of them... and even though i'm really good and have that experience it kind of feels like none of them really give me that credit. it was really good motivation to get out of this state though. really good motivation to audition for mcm next season...

i'm really hoping dayton is worth it. i've heard it is, so i'm hoping on that.

someone is coming to look at my house today, hopefully he isn't super creepy and will move in with us. now i just need to find a new job and i'll be set.

i love when things just fall into place :)

i must say that the worst part of drumline is the location. i missed being home... but now that i'm here all i want to do is take my family, devon and alan and go back to flag...

Thursday, December 16, 2010


i always tend to post more when i have problems or things to sort out in my mind... hahaha. the start of this semester was SO good. i went to all of my classes, did all of my homework, read every chapter was the best start to a semester that i had ever had... and i'm not sure what happened.

now it's the end of the semester, although i was done going to school weeks ago, and i feel... dumb. not smart. like i have nothing going for me.

sure, now i have drumline and i have work and i have kkpsi, but i can't shake this feeling that i really miss being dedicated to high school and doing homework and feeling smart.

i also can't shake this feeling that if i do take another full schedule of classes next semester or any time soon, that i'll completely fail, just like this semester.

i don't want to take photography next semester, mainly because i got such high reviews in the class i was in, and then totally stopped going. the class i want to take is taught by the same teacher... and i guess i'm just afraid.

i miss being motivated to study. i miss actually taking classes that challenged me but also were interesting. i miss feeling smart. i miss preparing for tests and exams. i miss going to the library to actually study. i miss getting a's...

i swear i'm crazy...

next semester will be busy. i'll have to work constantly and be gone a lot for drumline. but i think i'm going to take a math class.


i hated my math class last semester, but it was all word problems and crap like that, which i haaate. but i remember, every time i went into the math building i felt... well i don't know, but i always really liked the math building. i remember walking around and seeing some of the posters on the wall and just thinking it was so cool.

so i'm going to slowly add some normal classes back into my life. hopefully this will not backfire on me... hopefully i'll learn to enjoy more studying time in the library, seeing as now i have friends/brothers to study with :D

Monday, December 13, 2010


i've been thinking a lot about drumline. it's still a possibility, and i totally want it to be. i've been leaning towards mosaic for many reasons, one being that i will get to go to world championships, something i've always wanted.

i figured out that i'll need to double the amount of money i make per week in order to pay for everything. i'm contemplating asking around for sponsorships or selling things. i have a flute i need to sell, and possibly my piccolo... not sure if i want to sell my piccolo, but it's a possibility.

i just can't get it out of my head. i don't want to take a season off... i don't think i can handle it.

i still need a roommate.