Wednesday, October 27, 2010

next semester i will not take early classes that i sleep through anymore! ahh. i've slept through my art class twice this week, which sucks because i actually like it! next semester i will focus on art, and only art. and not being up early! woo.

this semester has been so drastically different from the original plan. it's almost halfway over and i'm probably failing half of my classes, i'm absolutely in love with the other half. i've realized more in what i want and what i need to do with my life than i ever have. i've been busier than ever, working 30 hours a week and still managing to fit in 3-6 interviews a week. second degree is this weekend, and i'll be just under halfway done with my interviews.

i have an interview with old navy on friday. well, she didn't exactly call it an interview, but told me to come in so we could talk about my availability. over the phone she said they were hiring someone to work tuesday and thursday mornings. that's usually when i do my interviews for kkpsi, but i figure if i get that job i can just work less hours at burger king and do them at another time.

i suck at blogging lately, i know this. hopefully next semester will give me more time. probably not though.

but, i'm happy :) i'm very happy :D

Friday, October 15, 2010

"so, this is my life. and i want you to know that i am both happy and sad and i'm still trying to figure out how that could be."

i think the reason i haven't been writing blogs as regularly, is because i started writing in a journal. it was weird for a while here on my blog because i was just writing about everything happening in my life and i personally thought it was annoying because i was trying to do that, while also not writing too much because i know that someone's personal journal isn't always fun to read. and i also could never write everything i wanted to write in fear of someone getting hurt or whatever.

so, yeah. i've been trying to justify to myself why i haven't been running home to write a blog on something i've been thinking about all day.

i've been so super busy though lately, so whenever i get free time i tend to just want to lay around and do nothing.

school is going halfway well... i'm super behind in psychology and cis 120. i'm very much on the right track in art and photography though. i've been thinking about classes for next semester. digital photography II is the only for sure class that i already signed up for. i would really like to take documentary photography, there's a problem with the school not offering the prerequisite... weird, i know. then i was also thinking about drawing and art history.

i've also been thinking about taking some noncredit classes. they have some that are only for a few weeks or even just for a day. the one's i was thinking about are a digital photography class, a beginners photoshop class, and a jewelry making class. haha. i'm still trying to figure out how much they cost (if anything). because if they're free, that would be freaking AWESOME.

haha, i just went to look at the classes and found a noncredit intro to documentary filmmaking. I SIGNED UP HELL YEAH.

on another note. my rush process is going really well. i have 11 interviews done (12 after today). i don't have any scheduled for this weekend, but... we have a game and then i have to work :( BUT, i have gone to the two required gk meetings and the one service project that was required. i've finished about 1/4 of my interviews and have done all of my homework. it's the only class that i "strive for the highest in" (... :D) and actually try to be an overachiever. haha. last night we had class and i finished my quiz way before everyone else and did all of the extra credit and more. dillon finished like, five minutes after me and still finished way before everyone else. needless to say, nolan was feeling great. haha. t.j. didn't go because he had to work, and when he got off work and texted me, i didn't have my phone, so he went home. i'm sad about him not being a part of my process, but i'm trying to make the best of everything.

i've also been working almost 30 hours a week. it only sucks because i eat too much burger king now, and i'm afraid i'm going to get fat.

and on the fat note, i've been thinking a lot about drum corps! i really think i want to do it this year, either on cymbals or something else... hahaha. i'm going to start looking into it soon and looking to see when auditions are/if someone (nolan or t.j. or austin) will teach me either baritone or mellophone. i'm feeling only slightly bad about not doing winter drumline. i'll probably feel worse once the season starts though. hopefully it will all be worth it...

i think that's all for now. just updating on life i guess.

"so, this is my life. and i want you to know that i am both happy and sad and i'm still trying to figure out how that could be."
the perks of being a wallflower.

this quote is so incredibly me right now.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

how has it been 8 days since i posted last?! jrgenkjrtnh i can't believe that :( oh well, i guess lately i've been going out and... living, rather than just writing about how i want to live.

philosophical. yes.

anyways, i've mostly just been super busy with school, marching band, work and kkpsi. school (some classes...) is going well, marching band... is mostly good, work is fine, and kkpsi... is the best thing :) remembering back to last year, kkpsi was really the only thing that ever made me happy (even though it stressed me out sometimes). this semester i'm telling myself that this is important, but that it's completely doable and attainable. and the reasons it made me stressed out last year were pretty stupid, and all in my mind. so far, i have not been stressed at all, and it's great.

well i mean, right before first degree, the actual degree and right after were stressful, but i know this is what's best for now.

i've finished nine interviews so far, i have three more this week and two more scheduled after that. to finish half of them by 2nd degree (halloween), all i need to do is finish seven more interviews (after the ones i have scheduled). i've been doing all the homework way beforehand and studying every week. i'm to the point where i'm at the same level as everyone else because i haven't taken the next quiz yet. i'm really enjoying everything :D

here are some recent pictures i took for photography:

i also just have to add how much i love my friends. last week was not one of my finest, but so many people were there to listen to me and make me feel better: brandon, trey, randy, jane, tj, theresa, jenna and dillon. this weekend was possibly one of the best weekends of the semester :D and i love surprise visits super late in the morning! just saying :D

"i love. i have loved. i will love."
-i capture the castle (movie).

one of my favorite quotes.

Monday, October 4, 2010


i'm surprised at how much motivation i am lacking in school. up until about last week i had all the motivation in the world (for art and photography at least). i have an essay due tomorrow in psychology and i haven't started it at all and i'm really contemplating whether or not i'll even do it. on wednesday we have a midterm and none of it is multiple choice.

needless to say, i'm having a rough time. psychology of women and cis 120 will be the death of me. all i want to do next semester is take band at nau and then digital and documentary photography next semester. i'll have to pay for my own health insurance, so i've been looking around online for student plans. if i only take two classes and band, i'll have more time to work and more time to take off of work. haha. i can focus a lot on trying to grow as a photographer.

yesss. that is my plan.

oh, and new plan as of last night: nolan is going to teach me baritone and i might try out for academy :) haha, jeffrey told me i should do it and i really don't think i'll be able to make cymbals. apparently baritone will probably be the easiest for me to pick up quick. and nolan happens to play baritone and played baritone for academy this past summer... yeah. so there. haha. new plans! and something else to focus on besides drumline.

i know i'm really going to miss drumline, but i think it'll be good for me to focus on other things. drumline is so limiting because you can't really do much else. so we'll see how the rest of this school year goes.

as for kkpsi, i was worried in the beginning, before first degree, that i was making the wrong decision by rushing again. but i'm really glad to say that i'm completely in love with my life right now (minus psy 236 and cis 120... haha. and i guess work too). i've been getting to bond more with nolan as a big, which i know will never be the same as what tj and i have, but i'm excited to see where the relationship takes us. whenever i'm with any group of kkpsi people i can't help but feel so incredibly welcomed and loved. i already have two interviews done and six scheduled for this week. i've been feeling less stressed out because of the whole interview aspect, but i have only interviewed people i know pretty well so far...

last night i went to the kkpsi meeting. i got my binder for this semester too! and i'm really happy with the time of our class because that means i'll at least get one night a week off now and i won't have to close five days in a row.

i put these on the side of my blog, but never officially posted them. the first picture is tj and me after first degree at peter piper. i was reeal sad the entire time we were there, but only because of the whole situation with tj... the second picture is... i don't even know. haha it looks to me like my grandbig and all of her littles and grandlittles, and then tj. he's just in the picture for no reason i think... then the last is at the makeup degree with my big sister, new big brother nolan, and my twin dillon. we're twins because we have exactly the same bigs.

anyways, yeaahhh. marching band time!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

i haven't written in a week! what the heck?! usually i say, "it feels like i haven't written in forever" and it's really been like, two days, maybe three. haha, but i've been super busy this week!

i started working more hours. LOT'S of hours. monday was awesome though because jenna and dan, and then tj and nolan came to visit me! on tuesday i FINALLY got to talk to tj about some stuff and we got most of everything figured out. and he got me to go to the library two days in a row. haha. i had my first interview and i got bonding time with my sister and breakfast with brianna! today i have bonding time with my twin, an interview, hangout time with the beta kappas and their bigs and then pm class! finally :) hopefully i get a lot of interviews scheduled! i really need to!

anyways, i'm pretty happy with the way things turned out. i can't wait to see what the rest of the semester is like. and i can't wait until i finish all my interviews :) i have a feeling that i'll be super proud of myself.

on another note, i don't know if wgi is in the cards for me this year... i don't have the money and i would really like to save up. i'm in flagstaff which means i would have to take fewer classes, work more, and pay for my own health insurance... and i just don't know if it's possible. i can't imagine not doing drumline, but i think i may need to wait this out. plus, i have a shit ton of homework to do tomorrow and i won't have time if i drive all the way down to chandler, spend 7 hours at an audition and then drive back. i'll also have to spend about $100 of the check i just got yesterday and i don't think i'm down with that.

i think maybe my goal for this year will be to make drum corps. then i can focus on that rather than wgi. it'll be different. but... yeah.

i guess sometimes you have to sacrifice things. last semester it was kkpsi. i'm not dropping my process again. i want this too much.

so... looks like i've made up my mind. i won't be leaving tomorrow. i won't be spending a shit ton of money on fees and gas. and food too. i think i figured out that i would have needed to make $1000+ a week. or something like that... AND THAT'S FREAKING RIDICULOUS.

so yeah. saving money time! :(