"where will i go when i'm feeling blue?"

technically it's only day 16 of my summer, but it feels like it's been so much longer. i haven't actually done that much, but it's been pretty crammed pack with fun and excitement.

i stayed up until about five this morning, just sitting in my new, big, comfy bed. i blogged, but after i did i started thinking. i think there are really only three people who read my blog. dan, andrew as of a few days ago, and me. haha, yes, i like to read my own blog. or at least look at everything i've written and how i've grown in the past month or two that i've had it. well, i've actually had my blog for about a year, but only the blogs from this april and may are visible. haha :) anyways, i was thinking about who actually reads it and if they actually read it and like it. a lot of the times i don't like people knowing exactly what i'm thinking about certain things, but here they are, all of my personal thoughts, written down usually just how and when i think of them. i feel so vulnerable writing them for the world to see, and feeling vulnerable isn't something i have liked feeling in the past. so, in a way i feel liberated every time i post something new, because for so long i was afraid to feel vulnerable, and now i'm immersing myself in it. it feels great, it really does!

sometimes i wonder whether or not my blog will change someone's life. or maybe just their thought process about something. i don't even know if i write about anything deep enough to do that. but i know i've read blogs that have really made me sit down and think about my life. i was thinking about this in the wee hours this morning while i sat in bed listening to priscilla ahn, painting my nails (something i haven't done since i was a kid), and looking at pictures of tattoos, hair, and piercings. will my blog change someone's life? has it already? and has that life been someone i know? maybe someone i've never met who happened to stumble upon it? or maybe, just maybe, has it changed mine?



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