Saturday, May 22, 2010


this is probably going to be a long post of me just rambling on and on. haha.

i know i've already posted a few blogs about this, and it's pretty trivial, but i'm still trying to figure out how i want my hair. haha. but hair is really a big deal for most people, and for the people in my family (except maybe my dad, who has none), we're all very into our hair. on my mom side we all have thick hair that grows pretty fast. right now it's kind of a dark blonde on the verge of brown, and i really like the in between color, i've been trying to go for a natural look the past few years and think that maybe it's time to move on, but i don't know if i want to lose something that is so "me." anyways, besides from the color, i really want a new style that says me. right now it's just long. it doesn't really have any shape and i think it just kind of pulls my look down. i want a new style. i think i was talking about hair with devon and said that a certain hairstyle might not fit my style and he said i don't have a style. ha. so... if that's true, i want one. i've always loved fashion, but a lot of the times i get too afraid to go for things and to just wear whatever i want.

devon and i were talking a few days ago, and we both decided that we need to take more risks. i'm not sure what my first risk will be. once i get a job i guess i'll start making more. i went job hunting with devon a few days ago. i ended up applying to styles for less, forever 21, ross and michael's. it's only been like, two days, but i feel nervous that none of them are going to contact me and i'm not going to get a job, something that is kind of being crucial for me. i feel bad that i've been living off my mom for the past few months. i'm an adult now... and for a while i was living off money that i earned for myself. i was buying food and clothes and gas and whatever i wanted whenever i wanted. it was pretty awesome, except for the fact that i had no life (this was last summer, ha). now i want a job, a life, new clothes, new tattoos, maybe new piercings (?), new furniture for my room, and... i don't know. probably other stuff. ha. i don't want to be overwhelmed, but i want a lot. i don't necessarily want a new life, i like the one i have and the one i had, but i want new things for my life. i haven't bought any clothes in almost a year! it's crazy to even think that, because i used to go shopping at LEAST once a week, usually more. anyways.

lately i've been obsessed with getting on tumblr and looking at pictures of tattoos. as of now i have... four ideas for tattoos. i want the zildjian logo, not the one that actually says "zildjian," but the one that's small and on the edge of the cymbal.

this. haha. i want it on the inside of my right forearm. i play cymbals, and when i prep to crash that's where that logo should hit (if the logo happens to be on that side...) haha. if it were to hit anywhere, it would be there. anyways. i want that. then maybe the actual logo that says zildjian on my wrist where it would sit on the strap when my cymbals are on.

i also want "music is love" tattooed probably in between my hip bones. i'm not completely sure yet, but apparently i have nice hip bones and i think that's a good spot for a tattoo. music has been such a huge part of my life and i really do love it, so why not get this one?

the other two i have already blogged about, and it's the dream tattoo and nowhere man. i want these. bad. i'm not sure where to get the yet though. andrew thought a good place for the dream tattoo would be on my thigh, and i think it would be good too, but i don't know if i want something that visible or big... but i want it kind of big. i'll have to think big time before i get that one done. for nowhere man i think maybe the inside of my feet .

i totally forgot about three other ones that i want. haha. the quotes, "don't think or judge, just listen" and "one must sink to the depths in order to rise to the heights." and then smile on the side of my right pointer finger. haha. i think i'll get that one after i finish my photography certificate? maybe not :)

i've also been thinking about getting another piercing. not sure what. i remember maggie telling me i should get my septum done, and at first i totally said no, but the thought of it creeps into my mind. i don't really tell many people about it, because i'm not sure how accepting my friends are of piercings and stuff. haha. not that that would hold me back, because i know the support me and everything. ha. whatever. i think girls who have a very classic or preppy style who also have piercings and tattoos are the coolest, because everything they have just contrasts with each other. i don't think a lot of people think this is cool or beautiful like me, but i'm also a very accepting person and can try to see beauty in things that a lot of people don't give the time of day too. whatever i do get, i want something small, nothing too outlandish.

i guess back to hair now. ha. i feel like such a girl. i guess i'm thinking i want to get a few inches cut off, but every time i do, i want it longer. now it's the longest it's ever been and i want to cut it. i just hope i don't regret it :( anyways. the biggest thing i'm not sure about is bangs. WHAT THE FUCK BANGS?! whenever i don't have them, i want them. whenever i have them i hate them. STOP TOYING WITH ME. ha. so yeah, devon said i should just go for it. maybe i will.

and that brings me back to devon and i taking chances. we both decided that we want to audition for music city mystique. he has a better chance of making it than me, but we both would need to work really hard to even think about auditioning. i think we're ready for this risk though... maybe, just maybe :)

back to bangs. i the last time i had bangs i felt like a boy. so i think if i did it again i would have to wear makeup and girly clothes to not feel like that. so maybe. maybe it's worth it. ha.

WOAH. the post is ALL over the place.

one more thing, my new bed is amazing :) love it.

just kidding, one more thing. today was awesome :) spent it with andrew and then spent my saturday night with my best friend watching say yes to the dress and four weddings :) QUITE amazing if i do say so myself!

peace and blessings [: )

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