Saturday, May 1, 2010

hmmm...

i'm at my dad's house right now. we went on a walk after dinner, and i realized that my dad and i have the exact same stride. it got me thinking about how much of a daddy's girl i used to be. when i was making my senior project, i found SO many pictures of me and my dad, but not very many of me and my mom. i guess it all stopped when him and my mom got divorced and i grew up and stopped seeing him as much. my dad and i are so alike, and i wish i still had that relationship with him, the relationship we had when i was younger than 10.

i found the first version of my senior project. i made it on my mom's old laptop. she doesn't have it anymore, so the real version that i turned in and presented is gone forever, but i found one that's pretty close.

haha, i just looked at it, i'm glad i changed it, because it's actually not close at all, and it's totally not as good as the one i did.

but, i wish i could do another one. a... "i-graduated-a-year-ago-and-learned-so much-more-about-my-life-since-i-did-my-senior-project project." haha. but seriously. i only have a week left at nau. it still doesn't feel like it... and it definitely doesn't feel like i won't be coming back. half of me is so worried that i'll have the most horrible time next year, but the other half is so excited to start this new life, because that's really what i feel it will be. a new life.

i think... i'm going to make it. my... i-graduated-a-year-ago-and-learned-so much-more-about-my-life-since-i-did-my-senior-project project. but just for me. i don't need anyone to see it... but i feel like i need so desperately to make it. to show myself the changes i've made in my life.


OH. and being home makes me realize how much i curse now. i don't like it. i never used to curse. i do it without thinking now... which is someone i never wanted to be, probably the only change i don't like about my new self. i cussed in front of my little sister :( i don't like that.

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