it's finally hitting me. today is my last day at nau. i'm not coming back. i'm almost crying, which is a lot for me. i haven't seen or heard from either of my best friends up here in over a week... i haven't seen most of my friends. i don't know what to do anymore. i want to go home so bad, but i wish i could redo this entire semester. i would do so much differently :(
this is so hard for me... i still can't imagine not coming back to nau.
this whole change thing has been really hard on me. i generally hate change. i absolutely dread it. this past year has been full of complete change.
this time last year i was losing friends, and i was losing them fast. i felt completely lonely. i then graduated and started the loneliest summer of my life. i was terrified to go to college, terrified of that change. i ended up loving it though. i was in a new band, new drumline, i was making new friends. i grew apart from the one good friend i had had in high school who went up to college with me. i had my first college "relationship" that ended in high school drama. i learned to trust. i joined another drumline. i learned to work with people i don't know. i learned to tell people what i really want (something i'm still working on...). i learned a lot. and i changed a lot. and i don't know if i'm ready for everything to change once again.
i don't want to leave without saying goodbye to my friends. but it looks like that's probably how it's going to be...