trying to be productive.

it sucks not having a job. like seriously, it sucks so bad. there are so many things i want to do with my life, all of which require me to have SOME money. i think there were only three or four things on my 20 before 20 list that didn't cost any money. i feel like i need to be doing something right now. because i absolutely hate just sitting here in this room doing nothing.

i've been sitting here watching hair tutorials all day, and yes, my hair is very cute right now and no, no one is going to see it.

i really want to get this whole photography thing up and running. start a business. get stuff done. have stuff to do. have photo shoots to schedule. photo shoots to go to. photos to take. photos to edit. photos to sell. i want to learn how to make things. i want to actually make a lot. sell them. make money. have a life.

number three on my 20 before 20 is to dye my hair. i haven't in three years. and i'm ready for a change. even just a few weeks ago i wasn't. not even to dye my hair. but now i look in the mirror and want to see something different. i think maybe i'll accomplish my first goal tomorrow. i have some money. i'm not sure what color. probably brown? i don't know. andrew and andrew lopez gave me a "dramatic but less ghetto" starter kit. haha it came with chapstick and kool aid to dye my hair with. i know that'll work better if i leave some blonde in. maybe i'll have like, one little section that i leave blonde or dye blonder so i can change colors? haha. i feel like i sound so dumb right now. WHATE'ER :) anyways. yes. i hope this will be tomorrow :)

number eleven on my list is to move out. and before i made my list i didn't think i would, or would want to, move out before i turned 20. but i really don't want to still be living at home when i'm 20 years old, which is why i put it on my list. so i guess in order to achieve this goal i need a job, so hopefully that will happen soon. i think it will be easier for me to be healthy, mostly physically, if i live on my own. i'll only keep healthy foods in my apartment and i'll get some exercise equipment (eventually) and hopefully be motivated to stay in shape.

i'm going to start cleaning my room. it's a mess and i'm feeling creative. i want to make, but i need a clean environment to do so in :)