sometimes i think about when i was happiest. and i used to think it was when i was in flagstaff last semester, doing marching band, rushing for kappa kappa psi, living on my own, working for something i wanted. when i decided to move home i was terrified that i would lose everything i had worked for in regards of happiness. i realized that i had never been happy while living in chandler and for some reason i just associated chandler with every bad thing that has ever happened to me.
now that i've been home for about a month and half, and i can honestly say that i feel happy. i have a job that i enjoy for the most part, i get to live at home with my family for free, i get to eat for free, i get to work out all day (except when i get my period like right now... hehe tmi). but everyday i get to get out of bed and be carefree. and i love it. i know what my goals and what my obligations are, and i'm, for once, enjoying the road it's taking me to get there. i miss flagstaff of course, but i'm actually very glad i came back.
i'll be paying off this drumline season for a while, but i'm so happy that i have a job so i can eventually do that. i'm excited for the first paycheck i get that doesn't have to go to drumline, even though that's months from now, i'm looking forward to putting in my back account and having it stay there. having something to look forward to i think is what really is keeping me going.
but mostly, i think it's just because i'm choosing to be happy. i used to have someone in my life who would always tell me that he would just choose to be happy instead of something else, and i tried to explain that it's not that easy sometimes, and it really isn't. but right now i know there isn't much holding me back, and the things that are, won't be holding me back for much longer. i'm looking on the bright side of life and enjoying everything i have and everything i soon will have. and i think that's a wonderful way to live life.
endhappinessrant. :D
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