as excited as i am for the upcoming season of winter drumline, it's slightly unsettling. in the past i've always known which drumline i would be doing. i never had to make huge plans for auditions or for the season.

i decided i don't want to do drumline in arizona anymore, which means i need to go out of state. all year i've been preparing for this, and it's still what i want. but i'm finding it hard to think about leaving, because i actually really enjoy my life here right now. i love my job and the few friends i have here.

i'm trying to figure out if it would be cheaper to live in california or just drive there every weekend... i think it's cheaper to live there, but when the possibility came into my mind i was like, "I CAN HAVE BOTH!" hahaha

i hate the uncertainty of where i will be in a few months times. i guess it all depends on whether or not i even make a line... because if i don't make an out of state line i obviously won't move at all. but that's my goal, so i'm not going to think about the possibility of me not making a group... haha i probably shouldn't but whatever. i don't like i don't know where i'll be, if i'll be able to find a place to live, or if i'll be able to find a job. there's a tropical smoothie about 30 miles away from where pulse rehearses, which is totally not bad. but they would have to let me work there... maybe i'll call them after auditions if i think there's a possibility of me making it. or if i make it... haha.



i wrote this last night and i never finished but now i don't know what else to write so