mosaic.

yesterday i had my first day with mosaic independent percussion. it was a good day, despite a few things that i found either unfair or just awkward. i feel really old compared to my section, mostly from experience, not age. i've been playing for a lot longer than any of them... and even though i'm really good and have that experience it kind of feels like none of them really give me that credit. it was really good motivation to get out of this state though. really good motivation to audition for mcm next season...

i'm really hoping dayton is worth it. i've heard it is, so i'm hoping on that.

someone is coming to look at my house today, hopefully he isn't super creepy and will move in with us. now i just need to find a new job and i'll be set.

i love when things just fall into place :)

i must say that the worst part of drumline is the location. i missed being home... but now that i'm here all i want to do is take my family, devon and alan and go back to flag...

spring2011.

i always tend to post more when i have problems or things to sort out in my mind... hahaha. the start of this semester was SO good. i went to all of my classes, did all of my homework, read every chapter assigned.it was the best start to a semester that i had ever had... and i'm not sure what happened.

now it's the end of the semester, although i was done going to school weeks ago, and i feel... dumb. not smart. like i have nothing going for me.

sure, now i have drumline and i have work and i have kkpsi, but i can't shake this feeling that i really miss being dedicated to high school and doing homework and feeling smart.

i also can't shake this feeling that if i do take another full schedule of classes next semester or any time soon, that i'll completely fail, just like this semester.

i don't want to take photography next semester, mainly because i got such high reviews in the class i was in, and then totally stopped going. the class i want to take is taught by the same teacher... and i guess i'm just afraid.

i miss being motivated to study. i miss actually taking classes that challenged me but also were interesting. i miss feeling smart. i miss preparing for tests and exams. i miss going to the library to actually study. i miss getting a's...

i swear i'm crazy...

next semester will be busy. i'll have to work constantly and be gone a lot for drumline. but i think i'm going to take a math class.

HOHMYGOSH A MATH CLASS.

i hated my math class last semester, but it was all word problems and crap like that, which i haaate. but i remember, every time i went into the math building i felt... well i don't know, but i always really liked the math building. i remember walking around and seeing some of the posters on the wall and just thinking it was so cool.

so i'm going to slowly add some normal classes back into my life. hopefully this will not backfire on me... hopefully i'll learn to enjoy more studying time in the library, seeing as now i have friends/brothers to study with :D

pros/cons.

i've been thinking a lot about drumline. it's still a possibility, and i totally want it to be. i've been leaning towards mosaic for many reasons, one being that i will get to go to world championships, something i've always wanted.

i figured out that i'll need to double the amount of money i make per week in order to pay for everything. i'm contemplating asking around for sponsorships or selling things. i have a flute i need to sell, and possibly my piccolo... not sure if i want to sell my piccolo, but it's a possibility.

i just can't get it out of my head. i don't want to take a season off... i don't think i can handle it.

i still need a roommate.

new happenings.

ahhh, life. it's happening, and it's preventing me from posted about it. it's almost the end of the semester and i can say that i'm happy with the way most of it has gone. the little bit that i'm not happy about: school. i pretty much stopped going. i haven't even been on ccc's campus in like, three weeks. i know this is bad, but i don't see the point in going other than to feel like i'm not wasting money. here's to next semester i guess!

i have about three more days of my rush process for kkpsi. every time i think about it i get butterflies. i can't help but think about how much i've really loved my process. i've been wondering how things will change and whether or not i'm ready for it. i've been a pm for so long that i feel like i'll forget that i'm a brother (if i go through that is...). i've grown so much this semester and i'm so happy that i've finally made it through my process. at the beginning of my process i think i just wanted to get through it. but as i started interviewing people, and interviewing people i hadn't interviewed before, and putting on things like our social, fundraiser and service project, i started to realize how much i really needed last semester and this semester. i'm a different person. i can handle more. i've grown. it took talking to someone i wasn't really close with and someone who brothers told me wouldn't be a great interview to help me realize how much i've really grown throughout my entire process. i'm so grateful either way, whether i get a bid to third or not (but i better... just saying). i'm not sure where i would be if i hadn't rushed.

ummm besides that, i need a new roommate. i almost got married. i need a new job. i hate driving in snow. and yeah.

just kidding about the married part. it was a joke...

but totally, i almost did ;)

plans.

shkjtrhnr.

motivation to finish my rush process for kkpsi = 329580368237659584%

motivation for school = -209348594386%

i honestly think my motivation for school would be the same whether or not i decided to rush again.

i read this post and felt like i finally had someone who believed the same as me about school.

i love photography, it's what i want to do. not only do i love it, but i'm good at it. it's the one thing that just comes naturally to me. i know i need to take more photography classes, which i will, but i don't see the need for a degree. i really don't. photography might be the one profession where your portfolio gets you hired, not your degree. and school just seems to be a big waste of time. so next semester for me is a photography class, a noncredit class about documentary making, and maybe some other noncredit classes through ccc. maybe not. more work time, more money, and more photography. i'm going to be applying to different photography studios and hopefully starting from the bottom to make my way up to the top. don't get me wrong, i actually don't mind working at burger king. i get cheap food and most of the people are pretty awesome, but i've gained a few pounds and i'm NOT okay with that. and my hours are getting cut and one of my roommates wants to move out. i need more money.

so yeah. that's the plan for me. less school, more work (hopefully as a photographer or for a photographer), healthier eating and more fun.

not that this semester isn't fun. i love it :) just not the school part...

i can't find my art book, so i'm not going to art for the third time in a row.

is that bad?

school sucks right now.

next semester i will not take early classes that i sleep through anymore! ahh. i've slept through my art class twice this week, which sucks because i actually like it! next semester i will focus on art, and only art. and not being up early! woo.

this semester has been so drastically different from the original plan. it's almost halfway over and i'm probably failing half of my classes, i'm absolutely in love with the other half. i've realized more in what i want and what i need to do with my life than i ever have. i've been busier than ever, working 30 hours a week and still managing to fit in 3-6 interviews a week. second degree is this weekend, and i'll be just under halfway done with my interviews.

i have an interview with old navy on friday. well, she didn't exactly call it an interview, but told me to come in so we could talk about my availability. over the phone she said they were hiring someone to work tuesday and thursday mornings. that's usually when i do my interviews for kkpsi, but i figure if i get that job i can just work less hours at burger king and do them at another time.

i suck at blogging lately, i know this. hopefully next semester will give me more time. probably not though.

but, i'm happy :) i'm very happy :D